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Like a lot of people growing up, I got nervous speaking in public and got the obligatory suggestion from some adult that I picture the audience in their underwear.\u00a0 The idea was that if I was standing in front of naked or mostly naked people, I couldn\u2019t possibly be the most self-conscious person in the room.\u00a0 Well, this didn\u2019t work because I realized at a young age that there were some people that I just didn\u2019t want to picture only in their undies.\u00a0 At least this is what I thought at the time.\u00a0 I\u2019ve learned something recently though, had an epiphany really.\u00a0 Here it is: NAKED PEOPLE ARE ALL POWERFUL.\u00a0 It\u2019s true.\u00a0 Why else do we have to wear so many clothes all the time?\u00a0 The more important something is, the more clothes people have to wear and the more they are reprimanded if too much skin is showing.\u00a0 Why else would formal clothes be so stiff and uncomfortable? To reign in your nakedness, to contain it in cotton, woolen or silken shackles.<\/p>\n
There is, however, a hierarchy to body parts.\u00a0 They aren\u2019t all created equal.\u00a0 So I am going to focus on the big guns, the atom bombs of body parts, and discuss how they are destroying our society.\u00a0 I consider this a very serious public service.\u00a0 Let\u2019s start with the ones making the news this week: boobs.\u00a0 They seem innocent enough, right? Soft. Squishy.\u00a0 Bouncy.\u00a0 Bulbous.\u00a0 Nothing to be scared of, right?\u00a0 It would be like being scared of a jellyfish and that\u2019s ridiculous, right?\u00a0 WRONG! Anyone who has seen Finding Nemo<\/a> knows that jellyfish are KILLERS and so are boobs.\u00a0 Glenn Beck<\/a> should be all over this one.\u00a0 Let\u2019s look at the evidence.\u00a0 Exhibit #1:\u00a0 over the weekend, Michael Schwartz<\/a>, Chief of Staff to the ever-impressive Tom Coburn (R-OK), testified that pornography inflicts homosexuality on people because \u201call pornography is gay pornography\u201d.\u00a0 Of course you are male, only men watch porn, and seeing naked women makes you want to touch yourself.\u00a0 The power of your own penis is of course so strong that you will desire other naked penises and the blight will spread.\u00a0 Now, sometimes the strong can fight off the gayness like a bad cold but even a mild case of pornography at \u201cleast renders you less capable of loving your wife\u201d.\u00a0 But that\u2019s only the beginning.<\/p>\n On a larger scale, the Detroit City Council<\/a> is fighting to take back their city from the strippers.\u00a0 A local church member opines against those who \u201cwant to use the city of Detroit as their dumping ground of their bottom-feeding, gutter-living behavior\u2026Then they want to go back to their nice, suburban communities\u2026It’s a shame that poor people, minority people are always the dumping ground for this.”\u00a0 Translucent naked women and gutter-living patrons ought to be ashamed for single-handedly leading to the downfall of Detroit.\u00a0 New legislation, however, is trying to ban lap dances and VIP rooms and may even require background checks, distance away from the dancer and opaque pasties in order to provide a safe distance between patrons and boobs, a move that one club owner calls \u2018un-American\u2019.\u00a0 Yet, there are few things more profoundly American than taking our fears, and minorities, by the horns and making them illegal.<\/p>\n Nudity causes crime.\u00a0 The lust that it inflicts sends people, men, into a blind madness over which they have no control.\u00a0 They are blind animals.\u00a0 It can\u2019t be rape if she had that much cleavage or her skirt covered only half of her thighs!<\/p>\n Sound absurd?\u00a0 This logic isn\u2019t exceptional.\u00a0 It exercises itself everyday when lawmakers justify cutting\u00a0\u00a0government spending for public services, especially those that work with women, minorities and minority women who have experienced abuse<\/a> while playing tough on crime<\/a>.\u00a0 Sexual violence is still one of the most underreported crimes<\/a> in the U.S.\u00a0 and obvious violence is only one facet of the way in which sex is policed.\u00a0 The latest victim to this absurdity in the Washington, DC area is WEAVE, Women Empowered Against Violence, Inc.,<\/a> which may have to close its doors on October 1st<\/sup>. if it is unable to raise enough funds.\u00a0 WEAVE is a major lifeline<\/a> for victims and survivors in the D.C. area.\u00a0 Help keep WEAVE\u2019s doors open<\/a> or look into the status of centers in your area.<\/p>\n \n (Editor’s Note: WEAVE closed in 2012.)<\/p>\n <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Like a lot of people growing up, I got nervous speaking in public and got the obligatory suggestion from some adult that I picture the audience in their underwear.\u00a0 The idea was that if I was standing in front of naked or mostly naked people, I couldn\u2019t possibly be the most self-conscious person in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":148,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[376,377,5122,378,5121,379,115,380,375,373,386,382,5071,344,385,381,374],"class_list":["post-535","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-general","tag-body-parts","tag-boobs","tag-detroit","tag-finding-nemo","tag-gay","tag-glenn-beck","tag-megan-foster","tag-michael-schwartz","tag-naked","tag-nudity","tag-penis","tag-pornography","tag-rape","tag-sexual-violence","tag-strippers","tag-tom-coburn","tag-weave","entry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/535","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/148"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=535"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/535\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":25223,"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/535\/revisions\/25223"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=535"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=535"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.womeninandbeyond.org\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=535"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}