![\"\"](\"http:\/\/www.sahistory.org.za\/sites\/default\/files\/article_pics\/census2011%5B1%5D.jpg\")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
I am the other<\/p>\n
An executive director
\nwas apparently most worried
\ntheir small poodle gone
\nmissing during a house robbery<\/p>\n
(their domestic worker
\ntied-up and quite unnamed
\nprobably a woman too)<\/p>\n
I am the other
\nin our 2011 Census
\n(some say Senseless
\non a National Scale)<\/p>\n
I am the other
\na left-handed atheist
\n(no checkbox for that)<\/p>\n
I am the other
\nno checkbox for human
\nsince we are dealing still
\nwith apartheid\u2019s \u00a0miseries<\/p>\n
I am the other
\ncounted was I
\nlike our purple-frocked Arch<\/p>\n
I am the other
\na non-Springbok aficionado
\nand a South African to boot
\n(patriotic hand across your breasts)<\/p>\n
I am the other
\nwe brand and stereotype
\nlike apartheid ordained all to
\n(ethnic cleansing on the horizon)<\/p>\n
I am the other
\n(the small poodle returned
\nthe next day)<\/p>\n
What with our Archbishop encouraging the inhabitants to get counted (\u201cTutu urges citizens to get counted\u201d, Argus, Oct 30 2011), I tease my way through officialdom as the eager-to-get-it-over supervisor-blue Census Worker makes the sorts of assumptions that folks tend to make.<\/p>\n
A wee while ago, circa August 2010, the People\u2019s Post Claremont-Rondebosch edition reported a robbery, amongst a few others, under the heading \u201cClaremont resident wounded in shootout with robbers\u201d.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
I have a turn-table<\/p>\n
I have a turn-table
\nblithely I declare
\nto the supervisor-blue
\nwho ostensibly deals
\nwith difficult customers<\/p>\n
I have a turn-table
\nan open invitation
\nto imposters, con-artists,
\nex-comrades and politicians
\n(am I repeating myself)<\/p>\n
I have a turn-table
\nand other such
\nantediluvian assets
\n(imagine no possessions)<\/p>\n
I have a turn-table
\nis there a checkbox
\nas there is for race
\nthe human-kind that is<\/p>\n
I have a turn-table
\ndoes that count for any
\nas a ministry scoured the suburbs
\nfor World Cup accommodation
\n(must be a legacy fallout)<\/p>\n
I have a turn-table
\n(no bodyguards here)
\ncome up sometime
\nand have a steal
\nin Census\u2019s name<\/p>\n
Someone asks, rhetorically perhaps, \u201cWhat is this census all about\u201d (Opinions, People\u2019s Post, Tuesday 1 November 2011), as the eager-to-get-it-over supervisor-blue Census Worker looks for the appropriate checkbox to tick, circa our Senseless, sorry, Census month sometime.<\/p>\n
And if rhetoric is anything to go by, a government minister somewhere muses upon her being \u201ccast as an extravagant minister\u201d (\u201cMinister spent R420\u00a0000 on hotel stay\u201d, Cape Times, November 3 2011).<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
May the force be (with you)<\/p>\n
May the force be (with you)
\nsweaty and perspiring masses
\nleaders, emperors, chieftains too
\nas you reveal yourselves before<\/p>\n
May the force be (with you)
\nthough who can we count on
\nmathematicians and engineers
\nnot quite in oversupply
\n(who tallied our 7 billion)<\/p>\n
May the force be (with you)
\nas Verwoerdian shadows lurk
\nif we can believe anything
\npoliticians twitter our way<\/p>\n
Who can we count on
\nwhen force will be your lot
\nfor not freely cataloguing yourself
\nas apartheid convincingly did<\/p>\n
Who can we count on
\nwhen force will be your lot
\nfor not democratically declaring
\nall of your worldly goods<\/p>\n
May the force be with you
\nas race rears its ugly head
\nin apartheid\u2019s tangled web<\/p>\n
May the force be with you
\nyou 17,000 or so persons
\ncriminalized you may be
\nin democracy\u2019s name<\/p>\n
May the force be (with you)<\/p>\n
Now will we all let it (be)<\/p>\n
I mangle Terry Bell\u2019s \u201cWhat a tangled web we weave with official race classification\u201d (Sunday Argus, Oct 30 2011) and Neville Alexander\u2019s \u201cRace rears ugly head in Census 2011\u201d (Cape Times, Nov 2 2011), as the higher-ups issue threats in the name of some law or the other (or is it \u201clore\u201d?).<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n