I have a dirty little secret. Well, perhaps it’s not so little. And maybe, it’s not that dirty. But it’s something I like to keep secret. You see, my parents, for as long as I have been alive, have employed domestic workers. I don’t want to self-flagellate in public, but this fact of my life is something that I have come to look upon with a mixture of shame, confusion, righteous indignation and an understanding of the practical realities of the global economy.
I suppose if you’re going to understand where I’m coming from, you’ve got to know where it is I’m actually coming from. I am a citizen of a bustling South East Asian metropolis, where it’s common for members of the upper classes to employ domestic workers. There are over 250,000 registered domestic workers in this tiny yet imposing concrete-glass-steel city of 7 million. For families accustomed to the luxuries that life in this city has afforded them, a live-in maid is just another luxury accessory. In my tight knit South Asian community, our affluence has allowed us to enjoy these luxuries, and so from the time I was literally a baby to today we have always employed domestic workers.
This practice was not something I questioned; living in my upper middle class bubble everyone I knew either in my community or at school had hired help. Our school gates would be crowded at the end of the day with a sea of women’s faces, noisy chatter and swarms of fans fighting off the heat and humidity that is so common to this city. Our kitchens and homes would be busy, busy, busy with deft hands, sweaty brows and tired muscles from all their hard work. At dinner parties, we would laugh, drink and eat while our maids worked to keep us well fed.
It was normal. And I never thought anything of it.
And then my bubble burst.
It was time for me to grow up, to move away and to experience life. I moved half way around the world to the UK, where things were very different to how I had grown up, despite my home city’s British heritage. College would open my eyes to so many new things, but most importantly, it opened my eyes to all the ways my privileged experience made me different. Often when I mentioned to friends or acquaintances how life back home necessarily included year-round air conditioning, ridiculous amounts of shopping and live-in domestic workers, I received looks ranging from incredulousness to derision.
Apparently, not everyone was accustomed to employing domestic workers to carry out the daily chores of cooking, cleaning and care taking in the home.
That experience at college simply taught me that the practice of employing domestic workers was not universal. It wasn’t until I got to graduate school, however, that I really began to question the practice altogether. I had taken a class on global and domestic labour that more than opened my eyes.
It blew my mind.
I had never thought about how domestic workers’ working and living conditions are exploitative; that certain countries like the Philippines are heavily reliant on remittances from overseas domestic workers to keep their economy afloat; or that the women (and it’s almost always women) that leave their families and young children behind are profoundly affected by this distance. Of course, I knew that Maria* and Anna*, our live-in domestic workers, had children back home, whom they saw once every two years but until now I had never thought of this situation as anything other than business as usual.
It wasn’t until after I had taken this class that I realised that the women whom my parents have employed over the years, were people. I don’t mean to say that I didn’t think of them as human beings. Of course I did. But it never occurred to me that their individual stories came together to tell a much, much larger tale – a tale of loss, community, discovery, negotiation, acceptance and, most importantly, survival.
The women who have worked in our home over the years have undoubtedly had an impact on my life, intertwining their stories with mine. I realise this now, and as I share my story with you, I hope to share pieces of theirs too.
Chandini Patel
on Jul 19th, 2010 at 6:39 pm
Chandini @ I dont see “employing domestic workers” as intrinsically wrong or something to be ashamed of. The point where shame and wrong begin is when we do not acknowledge their lives especially as being equal to our own, treat domestic workers with disrespect, engage in physical, sexual and emotional violence, exploit them and their families and on a both personal and collective level fail to work towards exposing all of the above and supporting their struggles for recognition and workers rights. I believe you have started the journey to address all of the above and hopefully others who have similar experiences will join in the discussion.
on Jul 19th, 2010 at 7:09 pm
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on Jul 21st, 2010 at 1:26 pm
Thanks for this. Just ran across this site, from Singapore, that you might find interesting. It’s called Maid in Singapore: http://www.maidinsingapore.net/. Perhaps a conversation could develop among yourself, Sokari, the Filipina domestic worker working in Singapore, and others!
on Jul 21st, 2010 at 11:11 pm
Hi Dan, thanks for visiting my site and posting the URL.
@Sokari, yes nothing wrong with employing a maid, we need the salaries and want the work
it is the treatment by some employers that is the issue. You are exactly right when you write “The point where shame and wrong begin is when we do not acknowledge their lives especially as being equal to our own”.
I’m just a woman trying to support her family, i’m educated but just don’t have so many options. I work hard and make sacrifices it’s not an easy life. Unfortunately the system I write about in my blog makes it even more difficult than it should be to be a domestic worker and helps perpetuate exploitation and removes the right of women to make free choices.
As Chandini writes in her post it is easy to take for granted the presence of a maid.
“It wasn’t until after I had taken this class that I realised that the women whom my parents have employed over the years, were people. I don’t mean to say that I didn’t think of them as human beings. Of course I did. But it never occurred to me that their individual stories came together to tell a much, much larger tale – a tale of loss, community, discovery, negotiation, acceptance and, most importantly, survival.”
Many maids are treated fairly in Singapore and are very happy earning money to support their families. However there are many thousands that live a harder life than they should have to as they are looked down upon and exploited by their employers and agents. This is what I am trying to address in my blog. I just want to change certain peoples attitudes towards maids but I think it is very ingrained.
on Jul 22nd, 2010 at 2:56 pm
@MaidinSing. I too think attitudes towards domestic workers are very engrained, and so are attitudes towards households. “Like one of the family” covers a multitude of centuries of abuse in the name of `family ties’. Here’s an example from today’s news. The First Lady, or at least one of them, of South Africa is found guilty of stiffing her domestic worker: http://www.timeslive.co.za/local/article564762.ece. Notice how the headline avoids mentioning that the fired worker is a domestic worker.
Thanks to you, Sokari, Chandini for opening such an important space!
on Aug 9th, 2010 at 11:59 am
@MaidinSing & @Sokari,
Thank you for your responses to my post – I hope we can continue this discussion throughout the duration of this series. There is much that I have learnt, and no doubt much I still have to learn about domestic workers and their stories, experiences and lives.
on Aug 10th, 2010 at 12:37 am
Here are two pieces you might find interesting:
South African au pair in the US: “Au pair hell for KZN woman”: http://www.themercury.co.za/?fSectionId=&fArticleId=vn20100810044743166C146492
Kenyan domestic worker in Saudi Arabia: “Sold into slavery”: http://www.nation.co.ke/magazines/Sold%20into%20slavery%20/-/1190/973528/-/10awgl6z/-/index.html